Why confess when I’ll do it again?

I’ve been saying it every time I go for confession. Have I ever meant it? Do I really believe I will not have to return?

Here’s my honest confession: NO

In fact, every time I walk out the confessional feeling refreshed, calm and back into intimacy with the Lord, I don’t really believe I won’t sin again. In fact, I try so hard to stay ‘clean’ that I sin even sooner. Then why confess?

Sound like you? Please tell me it isn’t just me.

Now, didn’t I just do a good confession? And don’t I really not want to sin anymore? and didn’t I say the Act of contrition with all my heart and receive an absolution and do my penance?

Of course I did. But here’s where I messed up. I’ve been focusing all this time on ‘sin no more’ instead of ‘with Your help.’ I’ve been trying so hard to not fall, not fail, not displease my loving God, but I’ve been doing it all by myself. And yes, He delights in my desire to not offend Him and blesses my effort.

It’s precisely this that I doubted my prayer. Focusing on myself and my ability rather than on what God is capable of.

But, if I was capable of ‘sin no more’ by myself, wouldn’t I have achieved it by now? Why would I need God in the first place?

Dearest Jesus, help me from today to rely on your help, your grace to ‘sin no more.’ To depend on your strength rather than on my own. To trust in your desire to make me Holy.

Do you believe it when you say,”with your help, I will sin no more?”